


You Can't Be Serious

by ethanlarosche



Category: GOT7, JJ Project, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - College/University, Chatting & Messaging, Crack, Fluff, Jinyoung and Yoongi dont like each other, Kim Seokjin | Jin & Kim Taehyung | V Are Siblings, Kim Taehyung | V & Park Jimin Are Best Friends, Min Yoongi | Suga Is Bad at Feelings, Min Yoongi | Suga Is Whipped, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Park Jimin (BTS) Is a Sweetheart, Self-Indulgent, park jimin and park jinyoung are cousins
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-23
Updated: 2018-12-13
Packaged: 2019-08-28 01:49:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16714222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ethanlarosche/pseuds/ethanlarosche
Summary: a crack fic where Got7 and BTS shenanigans are thrown for a loop when Park Jimin is introduced in their lives





	1. Meet My Baby Mochi

**Author's Note:**

> all right bois, here we have another fic no one asked for but you got it anyways! it is not beta-ed so tell me if you see any mistakes. strap in and enjoy the ride. It may get rough!

JJParents got4 monsters + 1 angel

Prince Peach™: Alright sluts, listen here

NotYourDad: Okay babe, that was a little strong, don’t you think you could ask a little nicer?

Prince Peach™: Excuse me? What part of listen here don’t you get, you mullet having headass

NotYourDad: i

yugYUM: damn mom, roast dad’s ass

Prince Peach™: Listen here you little shit, just because I love you assholes doesn’t mean that you cant listen to me for once on the most important thing in my life

sunshine: Mom whats going on? should I be excited? worried??

Prince Peach™: oh youngjae, you sweet angel, im glad you asked

BAMbi: the duality im

Prince Peach™: as you all should know, I have a small group of important people in my life. Youngjae my lovely baby boy, Jaebum my endearing husband, you guys I guess, and my sweet, innocent mochi baby cousin, Jimin

yugYUM: wow hyung, really feeling the love there

NotYourDad: baby, ilysm

sunshine: REALLY?? MINIE IS COMING AROUND?? WHEN WILL HE GET HERE??

wangpuppy: are you finally going to let us meet your darling cousin  
wangpuppy: wait  
wangpuppy: youngjae has met your cousin and we are still not allowed to? What kinda   
favoritism

Prince Peach™: ily2 babe, and that’s right my beautiful sun. Jimin is moving into an apartment off campus with his best friend bc he is going to school at the performing arts school here. And of course, youngjae has met Jimin, why wouldn’t he have? They are both sunshine and pure happiness, and maybe if you guys are good you will meet him too

markie moo: I mean its not like we know nothing about him babe, jinyoung literally never shuts up about him

Prince Peach™: because he is amazing and I love him to bits, so you all will behave when he gets here, am I clear?

BAMbi: whats the worst thing you think we could do to him, hyung?

Prince Peach™: we are never going to find that out bc we aren’t going to test it, again, am I clear? :)

markie moo: I can feel the aggression radiating off that smiley, its terrifying

NotYourDad: I believe your mother asked you a question, and when it comes to Jimin I would not hesitate, you know how protective he is

sunshine: of course mom! I am so excited to see Minnie again!!

markie moo: yes mom  
markie moo: jackson says yes mom too, he doesn’t wanna pick up his phone

BAMbi: yes mom, I will be on my best behavior if it will really make you happy

NotYourDad: wow bambam, that’s really thoughtful of you, im glad to see youre maturing

yugYUM: oh please, hes just trying to get Jinyoung hyung to make dinner for us, don’t fall for his act

BAMbi: WTH DUDE  
BAMbi: that was sensitive information I told you in confidence  
BAMbi: see if I share my candy with you now

yugYUM: cmon I was just trying to tell the truth for once

NotYourDad: see this is exactly why Jinyoung doesn’t want Jimin-ah to meet you guys, youre petty and set a bad example on Jinyoung and my parenting skills. Minnie really looks up to Jinyoung and wont react well if you are constantly disrespecting him

yugYUM: wow, hyung, we didn’t realize how much this really meant to you  
yugYUM: we really will be on our best behavior, we promise we wont embarrass you or mess with your cousin  
yugYUM: sorry hyung, really

BAMbi: gyeomie is right, we will try  
BAMbi: we do love you, we just show it in our own way, but we will work hard to do this right

Prince Peach™: wow, I don’t know how to feel, but I really appreciate it you guys, it means a lot

wangpuppy: this is getting a little too sappy for me  
wangpuppy: okie jinyoung and jaebum, when will this cousin dinner be, and what should we wear

markie moo: real subtle there

wangpuppy: I try

NotYourDad: be here at 6 on Friday, and dress casually but wear something appropriate

Prince Peach™: if youngjae wouldn’t wear it in public voluntarily, consider it inappropriate for diner. See you all on Friday :)

BAMbi: okay mark hyung, I now see the threat the smiley gives off

________________________________________________________________________

Friday at 5:55 @ JJParents place

“Where are they? They Promised they would do this for me? I knew this was too good to be true,” Jinyoung complained. All he wanted was one good night with his cousin to go smoothly. He really needed his boys to make a good impression.

“Baby, it’s okay. They still have five minutes. They’ll be here. They know how important this is to you,” Jaebum reassured his boyfriend, pulling him to the couch to get him to relax. “and besides, Jimin wont even get here until like 6:15, we told them to get here early for a reason. They’ll be here, if not all of them, then at least Youngjae. And you know how you love him. Just think about seeing him and Jimin together again.”

Sinking into his boyfriends hold, he finally let his tension go, a smile breaking across his face. “That was a dirty move you just pulled, babe. It’s a good thing it worked, and that I love you so much.” He turned around in his boyfriends hold and they stared lovingly into each other’s eyes. 

They leaned into forward until their lips met in a sweet, chaste kiss. It was at this moment that everyone decided to burst into their apartment and express their shock at the sight that met them with various shouts of “gross”, “awwww” and “get it Hyung’s”.

“Where were you guys? You were almost late!” Jinyoung whirls around on his friends.

“Hey! Give us some credit. We still had a minute left to get here.” Yugyeom complained pointing to the clock on the wall that confirmed what he said to be true.

“all right, fine. Thank you, guys, for getting here on time, but next time maybe knock before bursting into our apartment, okay?” Jinyoung conceded as he made his way towards Youngjae who was bouncing with excitement, only to take said boy into his arms for a long hug. “Thank you for getting them here. I know you had something to do with it.”

Youngjae, returning the hug just as tightly, replying, “It’s okay. We would have been here earlier, but Jackson insisted that we stop to get you flowers. He figured they would make you feel better about tonight. You know, not so worried? They really do care, Hyung.”

Pulling back, he turned towards Mark who was holding Jackson back from knocking Jinyoung down in his haste to present the flowers he had spent so long picking out.

“These are for you Jinyoung. I know how much you like chrysanthemums, so I tried to get a nice mix of what they had,” Jackson rushed out while thrusting the flower under Jinyoungs nose.

“Thank you, Jackson. That was very thoughtful of you. Ill go put them in some water. You guys should come in and sit down. Jimin will be here soon, and I don’t want to ambush him, okay? He can be shy.” Jinyoung called over his shoulder as he moved towards the kitchen.

“Shy? Innocent? Sweet? Are you sure this guy is related to you Jinyoung?” BamBam butted in sarcastically.

“What do you mean? Jinyoung Hyung is the nicest. He and Jimin are really alike.” Youngjae asked confused.

“Yeah guys, what do you mean? Jinyoung is the best Hyung there is, will be, or ever was.” Responded a voice that most of them didn’t recognize. There was a crash in the kitchen when everyone’s heads whipped to catch a glimpse of the newcomer before Jinyoung smothered him in a hug with an ear-piercing screech of “JIMINIE”. At that Youngjae and Jaebum flew from their seats to join in the bone crushing hug.

“Wow Jaebum-Hyung. Control yourself. Jinyoungie is right here, we wouldn’t want him getting jealous, now would we?” Jimin giggled returning the hug once he had detached Jinyoung from his small frame.

“I missed you too, mochi. No one gave you any problems since you got here, right?” Jaebum questioned as he held Jimin at arm’s length to look him over, as if he would have some glaring injury visible.

“No Hyung, everyone has been exceptionally nice since I’ve arrived, I promise. You worry too much. I don’t know how you keep up with hyungie if you place this kind of worry on him and his impulse decisions.” This gained a whine from Jinyoung, who felt he was being unfairly attacked in his own home.

“MINIE!!!” came Youngjae barreling past Jaebum once they were finished talking.

“SUNSHINE! How have you been?!? How’s Coco? I’ve missed you both so much!”

“Oh, good. Even better since you’re here now.” They giggled together, pulling a gasp of wonder from the remaining boys in the room, who have had to take this all in from their places around the room.

This drew Jimin’s attention from his cousin and company to address everyone else. “Where are my manners? Hi. My name is Park Jimin. I’m Jinyoung Hyung’s cousin. He has told me a lot about you all. It’s so nice to finally meet you.” He smiled widely and bowed to everyone as they took in his appearance. A small boy, with soft pink hair swallowed in a large sweater whose arms hands barely peaked out of the sleeves giving him the most adorable sweater paws. He had the cutest chubby cheeks, and a smile so wide his eyes disappeared into crescent moons. This combination caused everyone to fall for him immediately, knowing that they would do anything to protect this boy for as long as they must, to keep him this cute and happy.

“Oh my god. Hyung, I want one. Please can we get one? Where can we get one? Can we have this one? Please? Please?” Jackson begged his boyfriend, while tugging on his sleeve. Mark, however, was too preoccupied trying to figure out how he could convince Jinyoung to give him this boy, so he could love him forever.

“You must be Jackson-ssi. Its nice to meet you. Jaebum Hyung has told me some very funny stories about you. He’s right, you are a puppy trapped in a human’s body. And you,” Jimin continued, turning, “must be Mark-ssi. And I know what you’re thinking, and I can guarantee hyungie wont ever be convinced to turn me over, sorry.” Jimin glanced over his shoulder, mirth in his eyes when he saw at the glare Jinyoung was giving Mark. When he caught Jinyoungs eyes, he smiled sweetly, causing Jinyoungs expression to soften, and came up to back hug him while the rest of the introductions took place.

“How did you…?” Mark trailed off as he stared at Jimin in wonder at his spot-on assessment.

“Hyungie here warned me of your weakness to cute things. Its clear you must be mark-ssi based on the level of adorable Jackson-ssi’s eyes adopted when he was begging you to keep me.” Jimin smirked, causing the remaining two gasps at this sweet boys’ duality.

“Now I see the family resemblance Jinyoung-ah. And Please Jimin call us both Hyung. We want you to feel like family here.” Mark threw back with a reassuring smile.

“Thanks, Hyung’s. I look forward to getting to know you both better.” Jimin giggled, causing everyone to melt just that little bit more. He turned to the last two he didn’t know. “Now I know the two of you must be my dongsaengs, BamBam and Yugyeom. But let’s see if I can get it right.” Jimin remarked sizing each of them up, making the two incredibly nervous for an unknown reason. “I believe you,” he continued pointing at BamBam, “are BamBam based on your impeccable sense of style and your flawless bone structure.” He pointed out causing BamBam to blush and stutter out a small “thanks”. “There is no need to thank me for pointing out the obvious. And you must be the Maknae, Yugyeom.” Jimin finished.

“and just how did you come to this conclusion, huh?” Yugyeom snapped back, chest puffing out in some sort of display of dominance, at being singled out with no explanation.

“Well, if I wasn’t sure before, I sure am now,” Jimin deadpanned before descending into a fit of giggles causing him to fold in half and Jinyoung to release him from his grip. Reading the mood of the youngest present, Jimin sobered up quickly while trying to reassure him if his intentions. “Please don’t take this as a judgment on you, dear Yugyeom. Jinyoungie Hyung has told me a lot about the lot of you, and he has described you as the largest thorn in his side, not just due to your built stature, but because of your incessant picking at him. But,” he added, before Yugyeom could turn on Jinyoung and before Jinyoung could turn on him for ratting him out, “that is why I think I’m really gonna like you. You gotta keep my Hyung on his toes, ya know? Gotta keep in in his place so he doesn’t get to full of himself.” Jimin with a mischievous gleam in his eyes as he approached Yugyeom, taking his larger hands in to Jimin’s small ones. “you are just what Jinyoung needs in his life. And don’t let his sharp tongue and wit discourage you. He has assured me on several occasions how much love he has for all of you guys. That he would sacrifice himself for all of you. I think he is lucky to have such an amazing family here to support him.” Jimin finished with a squeeze of his hands.

“I take back everything I’ve ever said!” Yugyeom exclaimed as he gathered his small Hyung into his arms. “I love you too Jinyoungie, and you were right your cousin is an angel. And you better be careful, because everyone here right now wants to steal him away, so everyone here better treat him right or else you’ll have to face the rest of us!” he finished, releasing Jimin.

“Aw. I think I’m gonna like you guys. You are all so sweet.” Jimin commented with another giggle, melting everyone’s heart further than they thought possible.

Regardless to say, the rest of the night went smoothly, everyone immediately smitten with Jimin and having his giggles cure any tension left in anyone.


	2. Coffee for a Cutie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tae is ready to go off for his bestfriendsoulmate to be friends with everyone, and Yoongi makes a new friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey so, yeah I haven't posted in a long time on this, but finals are finished, so hopefully I can get more chapters posted. They are planned and some are written, so stick around if you're interested! So here's a small snippet. Thanks!!

**Don’t Let Your Memes Be Dreams™**

MyTeaIsGucci: ladies and gents, one and all gather round to hear the most important information of the week

HoeSuck: we’re all guys here but go off I guess

MuscleBunni: hey, hyung was talking, lets not interrupt him plz

WorldWideHand: be still my heart

MyTeaIsGucci: thanks kookie bby  
MyTeaIsGucci: so back to what I was saying  
MyTeaIsGucci: is everyone here? it really is important @joonie @yoongles

DestructionMon: yes tae, im here

MyTeaIsGucci: okay just need yoongles to get here  
@yoongi  
@yoongi  
@yoongi  
@yoongi  
@yoongi

GlucloseToMurder: whoever woke me up better have a good ass explanation before I track you down

MyTeaIsGucci: good youre all here, so listen

GlucloseToMurder: you better make it quick bc if it isn’t important your dead

MyTeaIsGucci: it is I promise  
MyTeaIsGucci: so as you know I live alone  
MyTeaIsGucci: but not anymore  
MyTeaIsGucci: my best friend just moved to town for school and he is living with me  
MyTeaIsGucci: and he only knows his cousin and me, so I wanna add him to our group  
MyTeaIsGucci: as long as that cool with everyone  
MyTeaIsGucci: he’s really important to me  
MyTeaIsGucci: what do you think?

WorldWideHand: if you mean Jiminie then of course you can  
WorldWideHand: he is an angel

DestructionMon: if hyung thinks it’s a good idea, then I am down

MuscleBunni: well if he is your best friend then who am I to say no

HoeSuck: if he is anything like you, then I vote yes  
HoeSuck: we need another sunshine in our group  
HoeSuck: the two of us alone cant defeat yoongi hyung, but maybe three can

GlucloseToMurder: woah  
GlucloseToMurder: hold on a sec  
GlucloseToMurder: were just gonna add a new person just because tae asks us to?  
GlucloseToMurder: we don’t even know him, he could be a serial killer for all we know

MyTeaIsGucci: Hyung please! Minnie is nothing like that. He is seriously the sweetest person you will ever meet. And if you don’t trust me, we can have dinner and I’ll introduce him to you guys before we add him just so you know how down to earth he is. I promise.

DestructionMon: wow. full punctuation and grammar from tae

GlucloseToMurder: fine. If it really is that important then we eat at Jin hyungs house on Sunday at 8. hes cooking

WorldWideHand: YAH  
WorldWideHand: Who are you to decide these things and offer my house? What if I refuse to host and cook? What if we have plans then? Huh? Did you think about that Min Yoongi?

GlucloseToMurder: it’s the only time im available this week and the only way ill come is if im fed  
GlucloseToMurder: i only trust you to do that and it’s the only day none of us work since the café is closed

WorldWideHand: im not sure whether to take that as a compliment

GlucloseToMurder: take it how you want  
GlucloseToMurder: everyone better be there  
GlucloseToMurder: bye  
-GlucloseToMurder-offline-

MuscleBunni: okay  
MuscleBunni: guess ill see you guys on Sunday

HoeSuck: okay  
HoeSuck: what just happened

 

Just as he reached under the counter to get more cups, the door jingled open. Grumbling to himself he called out a _“Just a second”_. Yoongi stood back up to immediately almost drop all the cups he had gathered. Cursing under his breath, he barley registered the “Are you okay? Do you need help?” coming from the other side of the counter.

“It’s fine. I got it,” he answered abruptly, not taking his eyes from the cups threatening to topple over again. Once he finally managed to get them under control, he turned back to the helpful customer to have his breath stolen from his lungs by the sight before him. He never really understood the concept of someone taking your breath away, but having just experienced that, he rethought his skepticism. Before him was the most adorable boy he had ever seen. Soft cotton candy looking hair falling into concerned eyes. A sweater so big the sleeves engulfed his hands, making them look even smaller than they already were, and jeans so tight they could cut off your circulation, emphasizing his muscular legs.

“H-hi,” me started, cursing himself for stuttering, “welcome to Sweeter Than Sweet, where apparently the name fits our customers.” A blush taking over his face when he realized what he said. _'Oh my god,'_ he thought to himself _, 'He’s been here for less than five minutes and I’ve already harassed him. I wouldn’t be surprised if he runs out of here or asks for the manager or...,'_

His raging thoughts are cut off to the adorable sounds of this gorgeous creature's giggling. “Cute.” He said, causing Yoongi to flush even harder.

“Right. Um, what can I get you today?” Yoongi asked, eager to change the subject.

“Well, I’m new in town and my Hyung told me to check this place out, so I’m not really sure. Do you have any suggestions?” he asked as if Yoongi wouldn’t answer, unaware that he is totally and completely Whipped™ for him already.

“Oh, well, I usually get plain coffee, but I have a feeling that you like the sweeter drinks, right?” his suspicions are confirmed by the most adorable blush and shy smile when said boy nods. “Right, so id go with the SugaKookie. It’s as ridiculous as its name, but customers seem to like it.” He finished with a gummy smile that seemed to stun the boy across the counter.

“Um….huh, oh yeah, sounds great. One of those please.”

“Sounds good. Can I get a name for the order?”

“Oh, my name is Jimin.”

“Nice to meet you Jimin, My name is Yoongi.” He ventured as he rung up the order.

“Nice to meet you Yoongi.” Jimin said while he beamed at the barista, and asked, “Do you go to school near here?”

“Yeah, I go to the national university around the block. What about you, kid? You move here for school?”

“Yes actually. I go to a dance school not too far from here.”

“Oh really?” Yoongi continued as he handed the boy his drink, only to lean across the counter, “tell me about your dancing. My best friend is a dancer so I know a little.”

“Well,” Jimin began as he took a seat at the counter to start what became a long chat where the two became better acquainted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, okay. You actually read this. Thanks man. here is some love (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ Next chapter is the BTS dinner where they meet again, and some stuff goes down. Thank you again! please comment and tell me what you thought!! Til next time.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey you beautiful creature!! you made it this far, might as well stick around for the next chapter. Throw a kudos if you liked it, and tell me what you think regardless of if you enjoyed or not. Thank you for reading!!


End file.
